What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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