"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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