Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
