She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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