forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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