My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
