I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
