i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
