I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
