i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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