Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
