You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
