it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
