I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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