Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
