I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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