I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
