Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
