no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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