My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
