I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
