Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
