i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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