where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
