It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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