Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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