"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
