billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
