I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
did i just pee glitter
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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