The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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