She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
