just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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