I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Do vagina's smell?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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