I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
