I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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