Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
