do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
