Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
