real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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