As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
