How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
