That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
