his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
