SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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