just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
