Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
