You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
