Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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