oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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