I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
