OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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