I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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