Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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