I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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