Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
