I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
