i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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