Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
