I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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