YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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