But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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