I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
