I must be too annoying 4 u.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Be still, my beating vagina.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
