Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
