I didn't shave. On purpose
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
