You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
