her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
