Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
