I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize