Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
