so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
