i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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