It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
